Applying Abortion Restrictions to Firearms Sales

Anti-abortion lawmakers have hedged the right to get an abortion with onerous restrictions, such as waiting periods, anti-abortion counseling, required viewing of sonograms, and even interior architectural specifications applying only to abortion clinics. Abortion clinics have been bombed and providers killed or badly injured. Abortion has been so circumscribed that there are only 87 counties in the entire United States in which abortion facilities exist. Taking the lead from abortion restrictions, the following rules and conditions shall apply to gunshops and gun purchases, in general:

1) There shall be only one gunshop in each state, preferably in as inaccessible a location as possible.

2) Each gunshop will open only on Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays and must close by 5 p.m.

3) There will be a three-day waiting period after the completion of a detailed personal questionaire before the purchase can be completed.

4) Every prospective purchaser must attend a movie which depicts the myriad ways firearms can cause injury or death.

5) After the movie, a state-certified violence prevention specialist will reinforce major points made in the movie.

6) Since recoil of a long gun can damage shoulders or even faces pressed against gun stocks, pre-purchase x-rays will be mandatory.

7) Anti-gun activists will be permitted to assemble at gunshop access points to harrass gun purchasers.

8) Long guns more than 28 inches long must be fit into cabinets no more than 28 inches high or in drawers no more than 28 inches wide.

9) Since pregnant women almost always carry only one fetus, gun buyers will be limited to only one gun for every gunshop visit.

10) All steps above will apply to every gunshop visit.

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